In These Moments
by The Skye Skye
Summary: A glimpse of different moments shared between Dean and Castiel. This is where I admit that I suck at summaries.
1. Chapter 1

_**You are not Alone in this.**_

In a moment of poor judgement and perhaps a little blind faith Castiel pressed his hand against Dean's chest, feeling the soft material beneath his fingers and feeling Dean's quickly beating heart against his ribcage. Castiel slowly gripped his shirt tight in his fist until he could feel his nails biting into his palm even through the material, and jerked Dean towards him. Castiel let his eyes slip shut and he pressed his lips against Dean's mouth in a rough and sort of needy motion. Dean's lips, parted with a gasp, were motionless as they were captured by Castiel's kiss for what seemed like minutes but in reality was seconds. Castiel pulled away, his throat bobbing as he swallowed uneasily and tilted his head, his eyes narrowing and examining Dean carefully. Castiel's gaze was strong, his blue eyes were dark and full of question, but at the same time, an untamed fire was lit in them. A fire that burned with hope, courage, fear, and even love. The angelic spirit that burned inside him was churning behind those eyes. Dean just looked at Castiel for a moment with a sort of fearful pensiveness that had become his normal expression, his lips remaining motionless, parted, and slightly chapped. The world had taken it's toll on him, his shoulders were tensed, and his body was clearly weary before Castiel. He gripped his shotgun tighter in his fist, feeling Castiel's hand still tightly wrapped up in the fabric of his shirt. He glanced down at Castiel's hand, and for a moment there was a flicker of a smile on his face. In a flash it was gone and Dean heaved a sigh, a soft and sad sigh that spoke of what lay before them.

"Thanks Cas..." he said softly, closing his eyes. He rubbed the back of his neck and leaned forward, his lips just centimeters from Castiel's ear. "If I make it through this... I promise... I will make all of it... Everything... up to you..."

Castiel's grip on Dean's shirt loosened and then slipped away, his arm falling limply by his side and his body going a little slack.

"Do what must be done Dean. And make it through this alive... That will be enough repayment for me."  
_**  
I Know that You Feel Me Somehow.**_

In the dark of Dean's motel room, he stripped off his jacket and kicked off his shoes. Sam was already sleeping soundly in his bed. The alcohol churning through Dean's system had worn off before he'd made it home from the bar. He'd just not felt like drinking himself into a stupor. He was off his game, out of his mind with something akin to depression. He walked over to his bed, and sat down on the edge of it, glancing at the clock on the bedside table as he pushed up his t-shirt sleeve slowly. Dean ran his fingers gently over his upper arm, the raised scarring on his flesh was tingling with a soft and feathery warmth that he'd been feeling all evening. As he let his eyes slip shut he could feel Castiel's familiar grip on his arm and the tight and burning yank on his limb all over again as if it were the first time. He winced and for a split second his mind was transported to the moment he was lifted from the pit... The moment Castiel raised him up into the sunlight.  
_  
'I am the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition...'_

Dean placed his hand over the print on his arm and took a deep breath inward, holding it. For a moment he just sat there in silence, letting the cozy tingle warm him right down to his toes, before he let his breath out, and on it, a whispered message.

"Cas... I miss you..."

If he concentrated hard enough he could feel Castiel's wings around him, and his hand gripping him tight. He could feel them, soft like silk, each individual feather brushing over his skin, and hot like a branding iron a hard grip on his arm. He could hear the shriek of Enochian tongue as it filled his ears, and the outcry of crying souls, angry demons, and growling hell hounds growing memory was etched into every fiber of his being. Dean stripped off his shirt and jeans, tossing them aside and laying down in the nameless motel bed, sighing softly. He closed his eyes tighter for a moment as he rolled onto his side, silently wishing that Castiel was here, sitting beside him sleeplessly as he used to do. Dean was nearly off to sleep in a matter of moments after his head hit the pillow, but a soft fluttering sound jarred him awake. The bed sank behind him with the weight of someone laying there. A warm and gentle hand moved over the print on Dean's arm, fitting the spot perfectly as if it had never left. It felt like liquid fire through Dean's veins, a familiar passion passed from the fingertips of the one laying with him right into his body, pulsing like a drum.

Without a word spoken, Dean heard Castiel.  
_  
'I miss you too Dean...'_

Dean bit down on his tongue, taking it in for a moment, and then as he rolled over to face it, the presence was gone, and Dean was left alone with only a feeling... One strong, and lingering feeling...

_**I'm With You**_

Dean was yawning again, doing his best not to doze off as he drove back towards his motel. Dried blood was flaking off his skin and his head ached from how many times it had been smacked around that night. Dealing with ghouls wasn't exactly difficult but it sure as hell wasn't easy. After a long and rigorous few days tracking them down and killing them, he just wanted a shower, a glass of rot-gut whisky, and a squeaky motel bed to pass out on. He watched the road as it stretched out before him, the drive passing far too slowly since he was painfully alone. Another yawn heaved his chest as the motel came into site. It was time for some well deserved rest. He pulled the Impala into an empty space and headed towards his room. Fiddling with the key for a moment he almost didn't want to enter the empty motel room. He hated the idea of being alone. He didn't like to admit it but he really just couldn't shake loneliness. It ached in every inch of his body. He jiggled the key into the lock and opened the door, stepping into the dark space. He kicked the door shut behind him, not bothering to lock it, what was the point really? Was death such a bad thing? Being dead was better than living this life alone...

Dean groaned. Now he was just thinking plain morbid. It was time for some whiskey. He closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead, kicking off his boots by the door as he headed further into the room. When he opened his eyes he frowned, noticing something he hadn't when he'd first walked in. On the table in his little motel room was a cloth, deep red in color, and atop this cloth was what Dean could only describe as a candlelight dinner. Two white long stem candles in crystal candle sticks were flickering away in the motel room, casting light onto classy china and shimmering real silver, silverware. He narrowed his eyes and turned around, looking around the room for some sort of clue as to what this was about. He caught sight of the bathroom door, just slightly ajar he took a few steps closer, noticing that the light from within the room was flickering candlelight as well. He pushed open the door and sustained a gasp as he saw, not the dingy little motel bathroom, but a candlelit master bathroom, complete with jaccuzi tub, and beside the tub, on a little table in an bucket of ice was a bottle of champagne, and beside it two flutes. The aroma of the candles was Dean's favorite, he'd always thought the smell of Cinnamon was arousing and comforting at the same time and the room was filled with it. There was a steaming bath drawn and Dean was wondering for a moment if he was dreaming. Or possibly dead...

The sound of a throat clearing behind him drew upon Dean's natural hunter instincts. Whatever had done this was here. In a flash his hand was wrapped around his pistol, he turned and fired off three shots without a second thought, gaping, baffled at what he saw. Castiel was standing in the bathroom doorway. There was a look of slight discomfort mingled with confusion on Castiel's face as he looked down at the bullet holes in his shirt. Dean dropped his gun and took a few shaky breaths.

"Jesus Christ Cas you nearly gave me a heart attack!" Dean said, taking in the sight of the angel with a baffled look on his own face. Castiel's brows were knitted together as he wrapped himself up into his thoughts for a moment. Dean slowly calmed himself, taking in the sight of Castiel, the angel was wearing something other than his usual uniform tonight. Tonight it was a black dress shirt and a pair of white cotton pants, and surprisingly barefoot. Dean thought briefly, that it looked like Castiel was in some sort of... Pajamas? He looked down right comfortable. Castiel took a deep breath and watched the bullet holes in his chest disappear.

"You shot me. That wasn't exactly what I'd expected..." Castiel said, his gruff tone, as usual,void of most readable emotion. Dean frowned and shook his head, looking around.

"What exactly were you expecting?" he asked with an incredulous shake of his head. Castiel tilted his head and looked towards the ceiling for a moment and then back to Dean.

"Intercourse?" Castiel replied questioningly. Dean looked around at the bathroom and then remembered the little candlelight dinner back in the other room, and it slowly sank in. He began to laugh, as he realized that Castiel had planned on wooing and seducing him. Some things never ceased to amaze him. Dean nodded and gave Castiel a bright smile.

"Sure Cas... Anything you want..."

Dean stripped off his shirt and moved towards Castiel, kissing him hard, relieved that he was no longer alone...

_**To be a Lover**_

Castiel knew by definition what it meant to be a lover, he'd seen it a million times a million different ways over his stretching eternity. However, until this moment he'd never felt what it meant to be a lover. Every second that had passed and lead up to the scene he was now intrinsically involved in was burning, etched in his bones. The undying dedication to do whatever it took to help Dean survive and see him happy was all that consumed him. Castiel's lips parted as he felt a shuddering and wanton moan leave his body, Dean's strong arms were wrapped around him tightly. Castiel was seated on Dean's hips, taking each inch of the other man in, figuratively and literally. He drank in the smell, the feel, the sound, each of Dean's movements sending tremors of a foreign sort of passion through him. He dragged his fingers down Dean's arms, feeling the muscles tremble and the slick sweat under his touch. Dean's lips were on his throat, then his jaw, near his ear. He could hear the whispers of Dean's affection as they left the hunter's lips, and he could feel them as they resonated from Dean's heart.

A connection so infinite and in depth was one Castiel had know of, but never comprehended. Castiel knew of many things, but to truly know like he knew now, what it was to make love... That was the most freeing piece of knowledge he'd ever gained. Dean's hips rocked up into his body, touching deep and his voice was filling a void Castiel had been feeling so long. Castiel tipped his head back, keening and mewling in ways he'd never thought were possible for him. He was human for now, and for now he would indulge in these moments as only humans could. The world was coming close to an end, and all he had now was this mortal coil, and this unshakable bond. He placed his hand over the print he'd left on Dean's arm and gripped tight, causing Dean to gasp.

"Castiel..."

Dean's husky voice gave Castiel chills. He looked down and met Dean's gaze, the man's green eyes blazing in the moonlight that fell through the gap of the motel curtains onto the bed. Castiel pressed his other hand to the back of Dean's neck and pulled him in for a kiss. To be a lover, for Castiel, meant no turning back, no doubting Dean, and carrying on no matter what.

_"I have faith in you Dean... I have so much faith... And where I do not have faith I have love..."_

Dean broke away from the kiss and buried his face in Castiel's neck, the message reaching him loud and clear. He couldn't bring himself to reciprocate the sentiment out loud, but Castiel could feel it. Dean knew just what it meant to be a lover too... 


	2. Chapter 2

_It wasn't blazing heat that came from Castiel's fingertips. The bright white light of his true form as it approached and gripped Dean caused the man to squeeze his eyes shut, and then, the sensation was that of ice. Icy blistering cold on his soul. Burning him, leaving a mark, as he felt himself rising out of the darkness and fire, up into the light. _

Dean gasped and sat up straight, shuddering a little as his arm tingled. His body was tense, shimmering with a fine sheen of sweat. He looked around and got his bearings, furrowing his brows as he took in the features of this room. It was a motel room, just like any other.

"Dean? You were having a nightmare again."

Dean glanced down at his side, and under the covers, eyes wide and curious as they stared up at him, was Castiel. His head tilted a little, curling toward Dean on his pillow as Dean sank back down and curled up with Castiel.

"Yeah… I… I've been having it a lot lately…" Dean said gruffly, letting Castiel run his fingers over his body in a soothing manner. The touch of Castiel's callous hand was a comfort for Dean, and he gladly took in the sensation, closing his eyes.

"Perhaps it's because we have begun sharing ourselves more abundantly in the physical sense… I'm sure that it is merely a side effect…" Castiel explained, narrowing his eyes and leaning in, his lips ghosting over Dean's, letting Dean's lips come to him. Dean pressed forward, kissing him. His eyes slipping shut as he leaned into the warm feeling that spread through him. The tingling warmth contrasted with the cool sensation that moved through the mark on his arm, sending a shiver down his spine.

Castiel ran his fingers down Dean's chest, his hand sliding down between Dean's legs, toying with the waistband of the hunter's boxers. Dean broke the kiss, smirking.

"You are like an addiction, Dean Winchester… I should not be doing this with you…" Castiel said in a husky whisper.

"Cas, it's a little late to be having second thoughts now…" Dean teased.

There was a groan from the bed only feet away from them.

"Would you two shut up! I'm trying to sleep and I don't feel like trying to drown out the sound of you two and your heavy petting session all night…"

Dean chuckled and propped himself up, looking over at Sam with a smirk.

"Sorry Sammy…" he said with a little laugh. Castiel cleared his throat.

"Perhaps from now on we should get our own room?" the angel offered. Dean nodded, kissing Castiel again, sliding his own hand down Castiel's boxers, gripping his manhood tightly, giving him a stroke, drawing a strangled and raspy groan from the angel.

"Yeah. We'll have to remember that for next time…"

Sam rolled his eyes, pulling his pillow over his head and rolling over, doing his best to ignore the sounds of romance coming from the bed bedside him.

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	3. Chapter 3

**Heavy**

Dean felt himself being slowly woken by the soft brush of lips over his own. His eyes slipped open and he broke into a small smile. Castiel was perched over him on his hands and knees, his head cocked to one side as he looked down at the hunter.

"Mornin' to you too Cas…" Dean greeted hoarsely. Castiel nodded slowly.

"You missed me… I could hear you…" Castiel whispered, leaning down, his blue eyes fluttering shut as he gently pressed his lips to Dean's again. Dean reached up, his calloused hands grabbing Castiel's neck and jaw, encouraging the deepening of the kiss. One after another, gentle kisses grew in passion, their tongues touching tentatively, teasingly at first. There was a moment where Dean broke away to look up into Castiel's eyes and then, he grabbed the angel's shoulders and pushed him over onto his back immediately pressing their lips together again. This was all he lived for anymore. Moment to moment, kiss to kiss, the time between hunts and fights. Castiel's surprisingly warm body against his. Their hips pressed together, grinding with fervent passion and a sense of urgency. Sam could wake at any moment but that didn't matter. All that mattered was them. This moment.

The angel was a skilled kisser, and that was perhaps Dean's favorite thing about him. His tongue knew just how to tease Dean's to make him weak with desire. Castiel would nip and bite at his lips, leaving them bruised and burning for more. It was simple perfection. A grunt from the angel above him and the urgent press of his growing arousal against Dean's own signaled the hunter it was time to stop. He broke away with a gasp and pulled Castiel up into an embrace, letting Castiel nuzzled against his collar.

"I did miss you. But you gotta stop sneakin' into my bed… Sam's right there." Dean whispered playfully.

"I'm sure I can be exceptionally quiet if need be, Dean." Castiel replied. A flying pillow smacked Dean in the back of the head and Dean glanced over to see Sam giving them a slightly irritated glanced.

"Then be quiet!" Sam grunted, drawing a laugh from his brother. This was what Dean lived for. Kiss to kiss, moment to moment, the times between hunts and fights. This was all that he wanted…


	4. Chapter 4

**Home**

Dean's breath catches in his throat as he pulls the damp body against his own. Castiel is limp, still dripping, his whole body quaking.

"I thought you were dead, Cas…" Dean rasped, clinging tighter to the cold, pale form of the angel. Castiel's voice is wrecked and hoarse as he speaks.

"I am, Dean… I have died… What's left is just… A flesh body. No angel. No grace…" Castiel whispers. Dean shakes his head and runs his fingers through Castiel's hair and presses a kiss to his forehead.

"No… No I don't care whether you're an angel, a human, a leviathan possessed freak, a dick with a god-complex. Cas you're my best friend. You're more than that… You're my brother." Dean grinds out each word through clenched teeth as Castiel sags underneath the tight grip Dean has on him. Dean reluctantly steps back and tilts Castiel's chin up, smiling fondly, tears welling in his piercing green eyes.

"You've been more than just an angel to me for a long time… So you lost that part of you… You still got me… You still got Sam."

Castiel looked into Dean's eyes with a defeated sigh and a weary smile began to form on his lips.

"Dean, I lo-"

Dean's lips brushing over his stop him from confessing the truth to was Castiel's first real kiss. One filled with warmth and love, and it tingled with traces of grace that still lingered inside Dean from when Castiel had pulled him from perdition, leaving him marked as he had. Dean's fingers gently tuck stray hairs behind Castiel's ear and then gently cup the back of his head as he presses their lips more firmly together for just a moment. One long, languid moment.

"I already know." Dean whispers against Castiel's lips, pulling back just enough to speak. Castiel cracks a self conscious smile and his cheeks flush unnaturally pink. Dean pats him on the shoulder and takes his wrist. "Now, let's get you cleaned up and in some dry clothes. Sam and Bobby will be back soon…"

Castiel let's Dean lead him out of the study and finds his chest swelling with strange, fuzzy warmth. He had made it home once more, by the grace of some other power, he had made it _home._


End file.
